Thursday, May 31, 2007

Funny Cos It's True

I hate when people say:

It's funny cos it's true. (More like, it's funny because you're a jerk?)
It's true/wrong/funny on so many levels. (More like, you're a jerk on so many levels?)
It's wrong/true/funny in so many ways. (More like, you're a jerk in so many ways?)

NEVER SAY THEM (PS. I'm sorry you're not a jerk... I have issues.)

I also hate that I know someone would have commented this, and might still, using one of those as comedic sarcasm. All of them, except maybe the 'wrong' one, might work...

The secret sauce in some burgers involves poop? Ok. We've got that covered. It now works.

Pointless post? NO!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Star Wars Kid

Hmm. I was just reading "Star Wars Kid"on Wikipedia. Specifically the bit about lawsuits and embarassment. I feel sort of bad for him, as he had to go through counselling and therapy, according to Wikipedia.

But I don't think I'll take the post off. Should I? I don't know. I don't really have a reason to leave it on. Hmm.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Circle of Blogs

This blog, and its readers, are mostly part of one blog circle. Or family, as I will name it. In no way is this meant to offend anyone, I am pretty much just amusing myself.

The way I see it... My Everest is the father. Yes, I did just make that into a link, that links back to this very thing you are reading. Try it. The only reason for this is that my blog was started here before the others, and I would be so arrogant as to claim at least partial credit for the starting of some of the other blogs in this circle.

Secondly, Jono's exemplary note pad of significant importance would probably be the son. Why? Because I am proud of him. One day, he will have a little blog family of his own. I will pass on the father role to him when I am gone. I will soon have to explain the birds and the bees to him, and tell him to use protection with other blogs. He might get a virus, mainly because Jono has shared himself with many a blog.

Thirdly, I'm thinking Under the sky... would be the youngest in the family, and possibly, therefore, my daughter? Ha. Anyway. Emily is the youngest of our blog circle, and I find her very amusing in that her posts are so varied, and her mind is all over the place. Much like mine. Plus, her last post had Transformers.

Fourthly, Chicken, Em, or Emmalee ...and everything in between... could possibly be the mother. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe just because she's second oldest. I enjoy reading this, just as much as I enjoy reading the others, because Chicken Fingers is quite a good friend of mine with shiny skin and not too shabby hair... and that really shows through on her blog? Ha.

Nextly, The Running (thoughts of) Waters is like that distant relative you rarely see. In the space of exactly 50 days, Matthew has managed three posts, one of which he did not completely write. I did, however, find his two real posts interesting to read anyway, and I want more NOW. Hint hint, nudge nudge, start your freakin' typing. He is also the next in line to take over my Minesweeper Gym. Flow on Waters, flow on.

Hmm let's see now. I guess No Diggity would be like the pet, in that it does not speak to the rest of the family, also known as a 'Comment Scrooge'. I would probably say that all the other anonymous readers of this blog are also pets. And I will be damned if I am feeding you tonight.

Well, I almost gave up on this post halfway through, when I was S-T-R-UGGLING, but I pushed through the pain barrier... and ended up with this not-exactly-what-i-wanted post. Oh well. Hope you enjoy it. Once again, there is no offence meant. The family order pretty much wasn't even in my head, I just made it up. But props to me for linking to you.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


What is worth more: A morsel or a smidgeon?

I have MPH Road Trip training tonight. It is actually quite irritating because: I had to ring up last week, months after successfully applying for group leader position... and then found out they had already had the trainings, and I just didn't get the e-mails! FRUSTRATION STATIONS.

Because of this, I am waiting here at uni for another... 4 hours. Huzzah. Exams are coming soon and I am scared scared scared. Mainly because I don't know how well I need to do, after taking into account how I'm going at uni already, to keep my scholarship. And I really want to keep my scholarship. Did I mention I have a SCHOLARSHIP? I'm so modest, I should win an award.

I was thinking before... if I was a reader of this blog and not the writer... I'd probably hate it. I'd probably think the writer was a loser who brags about his SCHOLARSHIP too much. Oh well. I am not, therefore I love my work. And that's all that matters.

For those of you that care, Varytales has a new post, so start leaving comments! The story needs to pick up a bit methinks. I may or may not have already left one suggestion on the post.

I am also horrendously, atrociously, abysmally tired and sore this week. I think it was because of church family camp on the weekend. Which was a major struggle, that I do not feel like writing about now. I did, however, manage to prove that my Lent exercises have paid off - I won the one arm pushup comp with 32 pushups. Please accept me? The downside of being the winner, apart from having one arm now much bigger than the other, is that my arm, face, back, and legs have pretty much fallen off. I'm typing with my earlobes right now.

I am also going to do the "No laughing/joke-making challenge" at some point. Possibly in the holidays when I have more time to interact with people/be super boring to them. I was thinking, I could just try to not say much and be a mysterious person. Or just try to force people to speak seriously with me. Either or.

It's fair to say that this is the biggest rambling post I have ever written. And certainly the most links in a post here. Linktastic. I think I'll end it here, because it actually does drain me to write crap that is in my head. Good work all round.

Monday, May 21, 2007


Q: Could I go 24 hours without laughing or making a joke?
A: Ha. Laughable... You're damn right I can. Challenge me?

A2: In fact, I'm so confident, I would say I could do it for one and a half days.

A3: Two days even, while watching funny episodes of Family Guy, and talking to lots of people on phone or internet or... in person. The regular way.

A4: Ok stop, I'm slightly less confident now and will not extend the time any further.

A5: Perhaps post a comment with reward if I can do it and punishment if I can't?

Friday, May 18, 2007


Tony Mumdel. (18 May 2007)

God loves you. Many of us loved you. I'm sorry for all those people who could not see that we as Christians are called to love all, including such special people like you. I'm sorry they were so ignorant as to judge you and distance themselves, without ever trying to know you. I don't know much about your life or your problems. I just know you were a really friendly guy who always shook my hand, and offered my mum and I coffee, and then tea to me because I don't do coffee. And I'm grateful for that.

May you rest in peace. God bless you.

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Well. I know I promised a decent post, and I've actually started and drafting it. Yes. I DRAFT posts sometimes. But I just came home, and read this, and it made me angry. You could click on the 'this' in the last sentence, or here or here or here. They'll all go to the same place.

Basically. Some guy from Sydney has made a game to simulate the Virginia Tech shooting, because, "it would piss everyone off," and that making people angry is "funny". I don't know how to answer this. It seems ridiculous to me, and it does piss me off. I don't want to let him be right, but of course this thing pisses people off. It's crude and obscene and altogether, a very. very. bad joke. Imagine if, in face-to-face talks, he made a joke about the V-Tech shootings. He would be scorned and, rightly, berated for such a disgusting thing. So the Internet is where you go to hide. And yes. I am conscious I am writing this from behind a blog, and not saying it to his face. It just seems so selfish and inconsiderate, and also because when asked about how he would feel if he upset relatives or friends of those killed in the massacre, he just said he, "didn't want to touch the subject." FAR OUT. Sometimes. I. Just... Hate.

EDIT: This is an updated story on the same thing. Apparently ransoms were a joke. Still. Very. Unfunny.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


Well. I have a post I am going to write, that actually has substance. But first: This.

I realise these are everywhere, and most people will have seen them. But whatever, some won't have. And now you can. My favourite parts of this: 0.30 seconds... makes me start laughing uncontrollably. 0.55 seconds... just. awesome.

And then...there's this:

HA! I love how he makes noises and when he kicks his legs out. And it's awesome how at the end of every bit of movement, he gives the camera a 'tough guy' look. It's also a bit weird that it cuts to a basketball court at the end?

If you had to be one of them... who would you choose? They're both so awesome. Substance post coming tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

WYR #2

Still posting meaningless stuff. Struggling with life. Some of you will have already answered some. Doesn't matter, do it again.

Would you rather...

Iron out the creases in your elbows OR Cook your hands in a toaster? (Thank you Em Wood)

Never be said hello to or never be said goodbye to? (Goodbye not as in forever, just when people leave they don't say anything to you)

Have Mentos nipples or the thing under a rooster's chin (but it's skin coloured, and shall forevermore be known as the chicken chin)?

Have wings that let you fly for ten minutes a day or a fully functionable, controllable tail?

Be covered in ears or covered in noses?

Always try to open the door the wrong way in front of lots of people (push when you should pull, vice versa) or always have to wait for everyone else to leave before you can leave?

Control fire or ice?

Read a WYR without an alternative?

Supersonic hearing or x-ray vision?

Not be able to use the Internet for two years or not be allowed to listen to music for the two years?

Answer these and win a prize. Possibly in the form of me writing a comment in reply to your answers.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Heard In...Philosophy

(Class discussion going on about morality of abortion. Suddenly...)

Intellectual: I really, really, like... hate awkward's"

(The longest awkward silence in the history of the world. Everybody stares as a gigantic tumbleweed appears in our fourth storey classroom, rolls through the room and smacks her in the face. The world becomes a little bit dumber.)

Very clearly, I am having an interesting life at the moment. I'm tired, bored, frustrated, sick and all together, not in the mood for much. Including blogging. For those of you who live off my blog, and require it to survive... this should help for the next 32.5412 seconds EXACTLY. Good session.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


Well it's about that time again - new blog time. Which, obviously, should follow that for you, this should coincide with party time. I am going to write a timeline of different thoughts from today, to give you an insight to exactly where my head's been at the last few days, and offer a very weak explanation as to why I'm not fit for blogging currently.

8:02 AM - OH CRAP! Gotta get up. Ninja Turtles is totally on right now.

8:03 AM - I hate Toasted TV. I miss Ryan and Jade from Cheez TV. That Dan guy irritates me, but nowhere near as much as the dude from Rollercoaster. Stupid bowlcut glasses bad-joke idiotface. Pip is ok. She looks 12. Why hasn't TMNT started yet?

8:43 AM - I got up to do this International Studies 1500 word essay that's due tomorrow. But I really would rather watch videos. So I'll do that.

9:16 AM - I guess I should feel guilty. Totally not though. Reading blogs. Hate being sick, can't believe I've already killed about half a box of tissues.

9:18 AM - Ahem. Toilet Break.

10:18 AM - DB is here. Isn't it strange that when a car comes to pick you up, it's always two horns? Why not one? Is that not enough, and the person won't come outside? Is three too rude that the person will be upset and stay inside? Who decided this? When I drive, I'm going to horn five times.

10:44 AM - I hate Monash car pool parking. Biggest loser. Not the TV show, but it could stand to lose some weight. Especially in the form of loser cars who park here before we get to uni. Why doesn't uni start ten minutes after I start, meaning we always get the first park?

10:45 AM - Look at that smug couple who just happened to get good luck and sail into car pool parking when someone was leaving, just after we parked. DB and I should totally mug them and change all the nouns in their uni notes to 'poo', 'bum' and 'wee'. That'll teach them to be smug. See how much they love uni then. Stupid man in his stupid vest.

11:15 AM - German is quite good today. I am actually understanding stuff and... DOING WORK! I am such a winner. That girl keeps looking at me. Please stop looking at me. I keep looking at her tissues in her bag, because I'm almost out. The ones I have look like dirty little shreds of wet paper. Do I dare take one when she's not looking?

11:16 AM - I don't dare.

12:00 PM - Yes. Finished uni today. Now I'll just kill some time with Yugoslavian uni friend and then go home with DB. Oh yes, I have a Crunchy Nut bar in my lunch. Winner!

12:24 PM - I'm talking to Yugoslavian uni friend about our traditional foods. Neither of us know, and are trying to define Australian food. Not working. Is it considered that I have traditional Asian food often if we eat rice almost every night? Bit racist. Whatever.

12:58 PM - ARGH!!!! Sitting all alone waiting for DB to turn up at the car, singing to myself, quite loudly. Suddenly, in the car in front of me, a girl just pops up and stares at me. She was apparently sleeping.. in her car. Fool. That's what the library is for. If you're going to stare, at least sing with me. Or go home and sleep?

1:30 PM - Ok. I'm home. Gotta get crackin on this essay. But first, I'll eat my lunch. Pizza roll yessss.

1:40 PM - Alright. Ready. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. That is so Spongebob of me. Hey, I should watch Spongebob! But probably not now. I'll just check my emails and stuff first.

2:20 PM - Yep. Really. Wasting. Time. Right. Now. I haven't done guitar scales in a while. Gotta do them if I want to be ready for my international tour next year.

2:50 PM - Oh my gosh. Why can't I work? What organ controls motivation? Is it the brain? Imagine it was something else, like appendix or tonsils or something weird. Then, when you got it removed, you explain lack of motivation. Pity I haven't had anything removed.

2:58 PM - Ok. Getting started. First I'll make some tea, fill my water bottle, get a new tissue box, and then get started. Good, I'm getting there.

3:00 PM - WOO GO GO GO! WORKKKKKK. First I'll listen to the recording of the lecture I need.

3:02 PM - I'm tired. And have had enough.

3:06 PM - I want more tea. My uni lecturer is so silly. His voice goes up at the end of every sentenCE. Like thIS. Plus he likes to swear loTS, so that he fits IN. Fails.

3:33 PM - Ha. It's 333 PM. Awesome.

4:00 PM - Yessss. I've knocked off 361 words. That's 24%. Awesome.

4:30 PM - I am readddddinnngg myyyy texxtttboook. I am readdding my texxtttbookk. I am reading. reading. reading. OHHH. I am reading my texxtttboook.

4:42 PM - Oh crap, I haven't chosen a Captain Planet episode for the Garage yet. I've been too busy doing nothing and watching Captain Planet episodes.

5:30 PM - Hmm. One and half hours and I've still only written 361 words. I guess that warrants a break, right? I haven't blogged in a while, not since that totally awesome one on Stray Cats. Hmm. Maybe I'll write a super cool timeline on my thoughts.

5:39 PM - This really isn't working out how I wanted it to. It's going to be super crap.

5:45 PM - Yep. Bad. But I've already written more words than I have for my INT1010 essay. Can't go back and delete them now, that would be ludicrous. I want more tea. Heroes is on tonight. Yay nachos!

EDIT: 5:57 PM - I don't even care. Best. Blog. Ever.