Sunday, March 25, 2007

WYR

Would you rather...

Never stop sneezing or never stop hiccuping?

Best/shortest blog ever.

EDIT: What about never stop sneezing or never stop yawning?

RE-EDIT: Thanks to Emmalee, I am clarifying the situation/s.
1) You would sneeze approx. every four seconds. But you couldn't predict exactly when you would get that tingly feeling before a sneeze.
2) The hiccups would also be like normal hiccups - random times. Just randomly forever.
3) Yawning would also be every few seconds.

New WYR: Would you rather always have that tingly feeling before a sneeze, or always feel like you were about to burp, but not be able to? One would make you look ridiculous. The other would make you feel yuck inside.

PS. If you have any WYRs, comment them. I'll put them in another post sometime.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Fire. Pt. 2

Tonight I saw Happy Feet at Donny's Free Family Film Night. Twas good, singing and dancing part was really good. Ending wasn't great, but oh well.

Anyway. During interlude, when the kids got asked questions about what had happened in the movie so far, someone decided to walk past me and K and say something about us. It wasn't malicious or anything, but this weak attempt at humour made me so instantly mad, and the fire inside just lit straight away. I said something, not directly to the person, but it was so harsh and bad. I was angry at the person for being stupid, and even angrier at myself for being angry over such a dumb thing.

I hate people saying things they think are amusing about how K and I, or any other couple choose to act in their relationship. We do not blantantly make out in a free film night at a church. Nor do we grope each other and stroke each others faces and whatever the hell else you think would be amusing to exaggeratedly say we are doing. We probably cop one of these comments every few weeks, and each time I struggle to not get fired up. So if you ever plan to do this in the future... think first. Maybe what you're saying is more stupid than witty.

That said, what I fired back was ridiculous, and hurtful, and very very poor. Everybody, I think, is capable of thinking harsh things. A thing that defines us is being able to control the expression of those thoughts, and the self-awareness to even know those thoughts are harsh and not worth thinking or expressing. I am usually able to do this. But then, tonight is an example of one of the downsides of my fire. Release of negative stuff without thought. Bad bad bad.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to voice the things in my head that don't even deserve voicing. And putting an element for my personality as a way of excuse is no... excuse. However, at least this is me being able to express my feelings. Rather than bottle. Because that would only fuel the bad fire more.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Mr. Men

Writing this, I feel very much like a MySpace addict posting bulletins constantly. But in the car the other day, with my favouritest uni driving buddy ever, we were considering which Mr. Men or Little Miss we were. I think it is so hard. Besides, after the gloomy blog from yesterday, this is a happier change.

This blog will rely on comments to make it work, so look here for the List of Books. I shall think, and try to come up with my own too. Although, when I say I'll come back to it, I generally am very slack. Such as my Three Wishes. Anyway, get searching, I want to know. I promise. I'll tell you who I am eventually. Or even invent one for myself.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Burnout

This is not a blog about burnouts in cars. Screeching rubber on tar. No.

This week I've felt so tired. Annoyed. Angry. I'm sick of doing things, sick of being in charge of stuff, sick of organising, sick of leading, sick of all of it.

I want to step back and just let it happen. Some part of me is still stuck thinking that the world will not go on without my part in it. A very arrogant part of me. Of course it will, just differently. Possibly better. Maybe my part isn't necessary at all.

It saddens me that I have so much fire for all these things, yet at the same time, I just want to not feel obligated to heal the world. I tend to take on the problems of others as my own. I want to heal my friends, family, country, world. But it's not my fight. I just try to make it mine.

This is a major downside of me having that theoretical Fire element. I burnout. Lots. Pretty soon, unless I work a way out of this, this fire of mine will be put out. Extinguished. Gone.

People always tell me that it's ok to be selfish. To think about myself once in a while. But I don't want to. I think it's just because the word 'selfish' is so negative. Maybe if a different word is used. But I don't know what. Probably the best advice I've ever been given while in one of these moods was last year, by my headmaster. He's pretty much Dumbledore. He asked me if I believed in Jesus. To which I said yes, I am often known to do so. Sometimes doubt. Well Dumbledore says, "You need to remember: Even Jesus got close to burning out. When he got tired, had enough, he simply stopped. He stopped talking to the people, stopped the miracles, went up the mountain. He prayed, meditated, talked to God, thought to himself, whatever he did up there was for his time alone. He knew that whatever he was on earth to do, and it was a greater deed than anything you can do, could wait until he was better to do it. For if you are not physically and mentally energised, you are useless to the world. Maybe you need to find your mountain."

Maybe I do. Maybe I need to go find my Everest. (Clever tie-in of title? Yep.) Maybe I just need hibernation. Or a time machine.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Fire

During a Youth Leaders meeting today with Jono and Matt, we were discussing strengths, weaknesses, personality etc. I wrote for one of my strengths 'Fire'. I'm passionate about stuff, and I like to use it to drive me to do everything. It means I am usually on fire for whatever I'm doing, and really want to make it work, even if it means hard work. This means that my strength is great, my drive is great. They're my positives. However, as one of my weaknesses, 'Fire' was also there. It sometimes makes me harsh, strong-minded, arrogantish. This is the downside of 'Fire'. Jono and Matt agreed that Fire was definitely my element.

Jono has a condition called synesthesia, in which letters, numbers, words, sounds, odours and shapes evoke colours and visual imagery in his mind. I'm pretty sure he told me that the colour of my name is red. But can't remember, ha. Either way, we decided that in our version of Power Rangers, I'd be the Red Ranger - as I usually assume leadership of stuff when there is none, get fired up easily about doing things, but also with anger, etc. May often make brash decisions, or try and rush in and do things myself without thinking I need others' help... then have to rely on the other Rangers to save me. I might not see that things could work from a different approach from mine... needing someone like Air to show me a different perspective.

We decided Jono was Air, but we didn't decide a Ranger. He was able to see things from a different point of view, and, like wind, he brings change - different ideas and creativity that others lack. However, sometimes, ground level, smaller things, escape him, which is the weakness of air.

Matthew, ironically, was Water. Due to his calm nature, and usually quieter, cooler self, Matt is fairly level headed and doesn't let anger get to him quickly. However, Water always has that indication that it could be powerful and great at any moment. I think it was appropriate for Matt. The weakness of the water was that sometimes it can be too laidback, too calm. Sometimes it needs some fire to get it going. Matt cited lacking passion as one of his weaknesses, making the need for fire seem appropriate.

After discussing all these ideas quite seriously, we decided that, in one way or another, our element leads us to rush into stuff and generally not be very organised. Also, we often forget little things that are quite important to making what we do better. We decided we need an Earth. Basically, an Earth is... down to earth. They see the little things that set the foundation for big things. They are solid and hold back people like Fire, Water and Air before they rush off without thinking about things. I think it's true. We need an Earth. Or try to be more like Earth, while still keeping our other strengths.

This is a very complicated and weird sounding explanation of our leader qualities, but I find it interesting. Each of the elements needs the others to keep them balanced, but also brings something that aids the others. When I was contemplating putting the Garage together, and who the leaders would be, I actually did think about the qualities of each person, and things to work on, and how we all compliment each other nicely. I think it works. But where is our Earth? Stay tuned for more element adventures.

Censored

Haha, well this is pretty random... but there is a show I just happened to see on the tv in one of the rooms as I was walking past. It's called Cheaters. Pretty much a suspicious person gets the program people to spy on their partners, because they suspect them of cheating. The show only ever shows the ones where the partners are right... but imagine the ones where they're wrong!

Anyway, so the spies and the suspicious girl go down to this lake, where her boyfriend and a girl are swimming around in their undies. Yay. The suspicious girl starts throwing all the guy's stuff in the water - clothes, beer, car keys, condoms, weed. She also throws in the other girl's stuff. The guy uses all his intelligence to try and win his loved one back... "Baby... I love you. I did this for us. I did this to prove how much I love you, because now that I've slept with her, I know that I want to be with you." Pretty much Romeo. Anyway. The funny part for me was that none of the people's faces got censored... but the camera switches to some ducks swimming past... and all their faces were blurred. Completely. Somebody might recognise their beaks and then BAM. Lawsuit. I found that so funny. Pretty sure nobody else will, but I was struggling to find things to blog about.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Deliverance

Coming home from delivery today, singing to myself as I tend to do. Walk past boy, maybe same age as me, maybe younger. Boy is bit smaller than me, but scrawnier. Kinda like my Garage boys. He stops me.

Boy: What you looking at?
Me: Nothing man.
B: Nah, bull. You were staring at me.
(I had sunglasses on. Take off sunglasses.)
M: Look, I'm going home. I wasn't looking at you, let it go.
B: F**king c**t. You were staring at me. You wanna go me?
M: No. I want to go home. (thought I was clever)
B: Nah let's fight c**t.
M: No let's not. I'll beat you. Sorry if you thought I was looking at you, see you later.
(Put back on sunglasses. Walk away. Boy follows.)
B: Bring it pussy. Fight me.
(Ignore him. Walk about 100 metres on. Boy still following. Still shouting.)
M: Ok. Fine. Let's fight. Come hit me, you can have the first shot.
B: (Standing down the path from me. Would have had to walk towards me for a bit before he hit me, would have looked quite funny.) ... Nah whatever. You're a pussy.
(Boy walks away. I go home.)

That was the most useless part of my day. To make it more interesting, I thought I would rewrite it from different points of view. With a few embellishments...

1) Green Power Ranger. The one that always saves the others in the end.
Coming back to base to meet Zordon, after putting away another over-sized monster, I encountered an evil doer.

Evil Doer: Puny human. I will destroy you.
Me: Not likely Evil Doer. You're going down. It's morphin' time!
(We fight stupidly, waving our arms like we're having a seizure. Everytime a hit is landed, sparks fly. I land a super kick to ED's chest, he flies into a tree. Lightning suddenly shoots down from the sky, hitting ED. He grows monstrous.)
ED: Evil laughter.
Me: Oh no! It's time to summon Megazord!
(Sweet music plays. I get in Megazord. Totally awesome. We battle, crushing a few buildings that nobody will remember later. He is beating me for a while, until I call my super sword. Finally, I destroy the monster.)
Me: Let that be a lesson to all of you evil doers out there.

2) Samurai
Returning home from a long quest involving honour and prosperity, I encounter a villainous fiend.

Villainous Fiend: I have been awaiting you. My name is Betty. Your father is a coward, your mother gives birth to cowards and I'm better than your whole family at maths.
Me: You have dishonoured my family! We must fight to the death.
(Both of us fly into the nearby trees, fighting each other with swords. Lots of wind. Lots of leaves flying around. Some sort of flute music. Betty flies to nearby lake. I follow. Somehow we manage to quickly run across the water.)
Betty: Mmm... impressive Striking Dragon. You have mastered the Venomous Toad attack, but can you take my Three Point Tiger Claw? Also, what is 82 X 914?
(Waves arms around. Mysteriously swishes hair from over his face. Flies towards me.)
Me: Phoenix Wing attack! 74948!
(Flap my arms like I'm flying. Twirl around fancily. Knock out Betty. Betty slowly dies. )
Me: I have returned honour to my family. I have proved my superiority of the art of fighting and mathematics. Farewell.

I was going to write one as in "What Would Jesus Do"? It was hard. I'll work on it, but for now, I challenge you to try and write that one. Whether you know stuff about the Bible or not.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Fully

I'm sick. Bad stupid poobumwee. It's a coldish sort of thing, but you know how when you have one, it's the only thing you think about? I've had coughing fits, runny nose, blocked nose, fat nose, skinny nose, etc. I also dread sleep, because it means even more hardness of breathing and choking on yummy mucus. I use a box of tissues in about two days. My voice sounds like there is a crab latched onto my throat from the inside.

This is a fairly pointless blog. But I'm doing it to fulfill someone's urgent needs.

In other news, yesterday I went to an awareness/Africa Aid event at Doncaster Secondary. Was fun, loved seeing people wanting to do stuff. The people I severely dislike are the ones who think it's cool to walk past the table of stuff and ask for free things, or shout out stupid things like, "Burn down the trees!" or "Africans are stupid." Also, the ones who feel that just because someone or a group have gotten the opportunity to perform... with REAL microphones, they should get to hold the mic and be retarded. There's nothing honestly interesting about what they have to say. I understand that not everybody is going to want to get involved with stuff like Africa Aid, or even feel a passion for it. Doesn't give them an excuse to rubbish the efforts of people who do. It's just selfish. Pretty much going to take my hunting spear to the next event. Or maybe just ask them to leave. Whichever.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Goodnight Message

Wrote this. Last night. Thank you to Simon for use of one line.

Drift between the ebb and flow,
On waves of sleep, you'll boldly go,
Tomorrow's near, beyond this bed,
But for now, rest, your weary head.

Take your pains, set them free.
I know all you can truly be.
You'll change the world, in your own way,
An ordinary hero shines each day.

May you dream the sweetest dreams,
May you find hope and ways and means,
Tomorrow's near, it's right ahead,
But just for now, it's time for bed.

Monday, March 12, 2007

25

As set by Jono, and then in a comment to everyone by Digger, these are 25 things that I've done:

  1. Had two girlfriends in kindergarten.
  2. Stayed in Germany for three months.
  3. Represented Columbia in a conference inside the United Nations.
  4. Avoided the tanbark on the playgrounds at school for a whole year, knowing full well that it was made of lava.
  5. Washed my feet every night for a year, and tried to get to my bedroom as quickly as possible, because the less steps I took, the cleaner I'd be when I slept. Therefore better sleep.
  6. Helped found an aid organisation in Year 11.
  7. Finished 'Ironman' level in the super Nutrigrain bowl.
  8. Shouted at the kids on 'It's Academic', 'Pick Your Face', 'Wipeout', 'Amaz*ng', 'Download' and any other children's quiz show for being so ridiculously stupid. Eg. On 'It's Academic': Question. "On which continent would you find Bangladesh?" Answer... "... Turkey?"
  9. Memorised all 150 of the first season Pokemon. Whatever. I was in Grade 4 and thought I was cool. Which I was.
  10. Dressed up as a jockey. Whip and all.
  11. Re-enacted an episode of Power Rangers. Retarded exaggerated actions are super.
  12. Played the flute part of "Nosebleed Section" by Hilltop Hoods in a performance combining that song with "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz.
  13. Developed a phobia of go-karts (since conquered), simply because the first time I did it, I hit the tyre wall after about 5 seconds and my go-kart set on fire. The guy said, "Kid, get out and RUN!"
  14. Proposed to thirteen different people in one day.
  15. Played Yoko Ono in a John Lennon musical.
  16. Learned "Wonderwall" off by heart on piano.
  17. Taught someone "Seasons of Love" from Rent on piano.
  18. Had a song in my head for a whole month.
  19. Invented a word that several people now use regularly.
  20. Learnt splits by being put on a rack against the wall at gym and had my legs forced backwards.
  21. Won a bronze medal at the Australia Mens National Gymnastics comp.
  22. Won a 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' comp at school.
  23. Had a glowstick party. Best.
  24. Had icecream with Ice-Magic, and chewed it before spitting it back out because it made it into soup. Clearly tasted better then.
  25. Done something for my blog that somebody had already done on theirs.

So that is that. Count up your points, put them in a comment. The winner will win a playdate with the Pokemon of their choice. But only from the first season. Whatever you don't have on your list... you should get working on. They're important.

40

After a chat with a good friend, we decided to try for doing something new. Because we've recently been taken up with the idea of Lent, and how good it is making positive changes, this is the deal:

Every 40 days, a new challenge will be undertaken. The old ones will still keep going, but one by one, slowly bad and unnecessary things in our lives will be eliminated, and replaced by good things. Kind of sets you free from useless stuff, like being materialistic. At the moment, the pushups/situps are going splendiferous. Somedays, I do double. Just because I feel good.

So far, some ideas for challenges:

  • Purchase no junk food
  • Wear nothing over $20
  • Wear no brand name clothing
  • No computer
  • No phone
  • No swear words
  • No meat
  • No processed food
  • No TV
  • Added running
  • Veganism

Comment if you have more ideas. It's March at the moment, so I need about seven solid challenges to take up.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Day at the Beach

Sunday was Clean Up Australia Day! The Garage crew were put into action at Ruffey Lake Park, and it was a great time I feel. Also, I'm now in love with the park, and shall go there more often.

Anyways, after that it was off to Frankston for Mr. Digger's party on the Frankston foreshore. Twas quite a nice area, and I enjoyed Digger's 2nd Annual Bocce Invitational. When I went for a walk with K, we came upon some Christians loudly preaching on a box and handing out novelty things. I'm not sure exactly what denomination they were, apparently Fundamentalist, but I don't know what that means. They gave us one of those million dollar notes that said:

The million-dollar question: Will you go to heaven? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Have you looked with lust? Which is adultery of the heart in God's eyes. Will you be guilty on Judgment Day? If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer-at-heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty, you will end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you. Jesus took your punishment upon Himself: "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Then He rose from the dead and defated death. Please, repent (turn from your sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life. Then read your Bible daily and obey it.

I don't think I like this. Have not completely worked it out, but I will post once I do.

'Million dollar' note... So does Christianity undeniably support Ned Kelly? Just wondering.

There was also a 'Smart Card' that had one of those things where you put your thumb on it and it changes colour. Well this one started red, and supposedly turned green if you were a 'good person'. The catch is... it never turns green, because the back of the card goes on to say:

Sorry... you're just like the rest of us. The dictionary says "good" is to be "morally excellent." Let's check the standard, the Ten Commandments, to see how far we fall short: Is God first in your life? Do you love Him with "heart, mind, soul and strength?" Have you made a god to suit yourself? Have you used His name in vain? Have you kept the Sabbath day holy? Have you always honoured your parents? Have you hated anyone, and therefore committed murder in your heart? Have you looked with lust and therefore committed adultery in your heart? Have you lied (including "fibs"), stolen (the value is irrelevant, includes downloading movies and burning CDs), or coveted other people's possessions? If you are honest, you know you will be guilty on the Day of Judgement. God however, doesn't want you to be sent to Hell. Jesus Christ suffered and died on the Cross, so you could go free. That's how much God loves you. We broke God's Law, but Jesus paid our fine. Then He rose from the grave and defeated death. If you repent (be sorry to God that you've violated His Law, and turn away from your sin) and trust in Jesus, God will forgive your sins and grant you everlasting life. Read your Bible daily (start with the chapter called John).

Dislike. So if you're not a Christian, you're not a good person, or at least on your way to being one? Rubbish, I know plenty of people who are better people than lots of Christians. Besides that, this sort of thing, designed to scare me into believing in God, makes me want to turn away from it. And I already believe. Irritated at it, but need to find out more and think about it more before I can post more.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Reasons Why My Church Would Benefit From Doing Vetamorphus (Updated:Work in progress)

This is based off a passing comment I made once, after all the frustrations I had with whinging and seemingly 'eyes-closed' Christians who are comfortable just using the church for its services, etc. and never asking questions or giving back. I feel like I come across very 'high and mighty' sometimes, I hope I'm not. This is just a major irritation for me. Now I understand that the ten things I'm going to say can be found through many other avenues, but I feel closest to Vetamorphus, so I'm going from there. I also realise that Vetamorphus wouldn't give the same things to me as everyone else, but I'm sure if a bit of effort was put into engaging it, they would definitely receive from it.

1) The close friendships that form. Especially in the small groups, where you specifically meet with the same people each week and share the deepest parts of your weekly life, thoughts and beliefs. This sort of openness, I think, will usually lead to good friendships, and it did. However, the retreats that combined all the groups from across Victoria were also awesome, and some of my good friends are also from those. Too often at church or youth group or even the Garage group, I see people - Christian or not - who look left out and seem as if there's nobody there for them to be able to talk to. I must confess, often I don't even make an effort to reach them, because I'm comfortable where I am with my friends. However, I've resolved to start trying to look out for and be a friend to the 'outsiders'. Because they're as equal to God as I or my friends are, so I should treat them that way.

2) Seeing and listening to other people's beliefs. Even if we all came under the Christianity umbrella. Vetamorphus opened my eyes to the huge array of beliefs and thoughts that different Christians possess, as individuals and as members of different denominations (and even of my own). Some things scare me, such as huge event evangelism, spiritual gifts such as tongue speaking and prophecising, as this is what my non-Christian friends tease me about and get the wrong idea of Christianity from. If I had not done Vmorph, and just stayed in my church, I would have been sheltered from all these other approaches to Christianity and worship. I'm still scared of them in a sense, but seeing the people who openly embrace those things was a real eye-opener. They seem so much more in-tune spiritually than I have ever felt. I remember times before Vmorph when I made jokes with other people from church about that sort of stuff. I feel bad about it now, because I would have continued doing that probably, if not for last year. Just the fact that I was exposed to all these extra elements to faith showed me that there's a whole lot more growing for me to do, and not to sit back and let things happen to me - I should be making things happen.

3) Helps one to realise their leadership potential. Part of the course requirements for Vetamorphus are that you actively engage in a ministry for 40 hours, and a live-in ministry for another 40. While one may take on a ministry simply to fill the requirements, by the end of it, you realise the impact you're having on other people, and just how capable you are of it. There are so many people, me included, who are happy to coast along and never give back to others. Part of it, at least for me, is laziness, but it used to be that I didn't see myself as able to, or 'worthy' enough to do something for others. Now, thanks partially to Vetamorphus, I know that I'm more than capable of a lot of things that I can't even imagine, and so is everyone else.

4) Mentors. I think mentors would benefit so many people at church, and outside too. Just the ability to sit and talk about life intentionally with someone who is more experienced, usually older, and who sees life from a different angle to you, is such a cool thing. For me, my mentor approaches faith and life in a bit of a different way then I do, but I respect his ways and his person so much. Mentoring gave me the chance to open up and build a friendship based on trust from the very start with someone I didn't know that well. For all the people at church, whether involved in their own friendship groups or still relative loners, mentors would be a great help, and the opportunity for them to mentor others would also be an eye-opener, and a way for them to be self-empowered.

5) Benefit on community. This one kinda goes with number 3. While everybody who does Veta is given a chance to exercise their leadership, clearly the community they are reaching out to will benefit from their efforts. Sure, sometimes efforts don't end up the way they were intended, but when more and more people are exercising leadership (whether that's outright or by following and helping others) with good intentions, good things are bound to happen.

6) Faith exploration. Up until last year, I almost never read my Bible. Ever. I'm so action-centred that I rarely leave time for self reflection and reading. I enjoy it, heaps, but I just never seem to do it. Although I didn't put as much into the readings as I could have (something I'll try to change), all the other ways Veta helped me ask my questions, voice my thoughts, hear others' opinions and just explore faith in different ways helped me to grow up a lot. I feel like I was so blind just coming along to church all the time, but never questioning or exploring, just accepting everything. The thing is, I never even imagined there was anything I could question. Although it might sound weird, questioning and wrestling with why I believe the things I believe, and even what I believe, has made things a whole lot clearer for me. I think that there are lots of people at church and outside who never think or bother to question, or dismiss their beliefs as stupid, but they shouldn't. Eveyrone's entitled to their beliefs, and should feel comfortable enough to voice them and question them, and Veta would help our church do that.

7) Different ways of worship. Worship pre-Veta, for me, meant coming to church on Sunday, praying before bed and reading the Bible. Tis what it meant, and I didn't get much out of it. Veta taught me about all the different things I could do to build my faith and others' too. Faith through action, through church life, through community, through reading, through self reflection and meditation. I loved all of it, and it taught me how much more there is to Christianity than I ever knew - and I'm supposedly an 'insider', since I've been going to church my whole life, as opposed to an 'outsider', who doesn't believe in Christianity, and has stereotypical views of it. A major reason why there's so much stupid politics and arguments in church is because people are so set in their ways and traditions. If only they knew how good it is to engage in a new way, someone else's way of worship, and that it could be better for them and the church. Even engaging in other practices of other religions is cool, buddhist meditations and fasting are something I'd like to try, as well as lots of other things.