Friday, February 29, 2008


Happy Bissextile Day!

Apparently, there is a tradition that on leap days, woman may make a proposal of marriage to men. Wikipedia tells me that in "1288 the Scottish parliament under Queen Margaret legislated that any woman could propose in Leap Year...Another component of this tradition was that if the man rejects the proposal, he should soften the blow by providing a kiss, one pound currency, and a pair of gloves (some later sources say a silk gown)." How awesome is that?

Lady: "Will you marry me?"
Man: "Sorry love, but here's a dollar - buy yourself something nice - and some old gloves I found in the dumpster. Wanna make out?"

Happy birthday to all my "leaplings" out there. That means you Ja Rule.

Peace out.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Best way to stop a bully. Ever.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I Dream Of Change

Two songs, both based around political speeches, both great songs, both great speeches. Obviously, one speech is much much more famous, but I like the message of the other one too. I've listened to both a lot lately. Gets the inspiration juices going. On a more interesting musical note for me, Will.I.Am. from the Black Eyed Peas is involved in both too. I like that dude.

Common Feat. Will.I.Am. - "A Dream" (Based around Martin Luther King Jnr.'s famous speech). Favourite lines:
"Dear Self, I wrote a letter just to better my soul, if I don't express it then forever I'll hold"
"With a story to tell, my eyes see the glory and well, the world waitin' for me to yell, 'I Have a Dream'"
(But also.. pretty much the whole second verse. Lyrics here.)

Will.I.Am. - "Yes We Can" (Based around Barack Obama's New Hampshire address. YouTube that too.)
Favourite lines:
"We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change."
(But again. Whole speech/song is good. Lyrics here.)

Friday, February 15, 2008


Happy Valentines. I celebrated with K. I cooked apple tarts with caramelised apple slices. Jealous? ... I didn't do that well with them, so don't worry.

Also, on the bus home today, a girl spoke very loud on the phone. It went like this:
"Hey honey." (boy said something)
"How you doin?" (I imagine, "Good. Where are you?")
"I'm on the bus baby. Coming to see you."
(giggling) "Awww ILY too. Yes I do! ILY ILY ILY. Anyway I gotta go. See you soon babe. ILY."

It was about this time that I felt like breaking her phone. Say I love you. NOT ILY. It's RIDICULOUS.

Anyway, apart from that rant, twas a very enjoyable Valentine's Day, that began with playing Smartass and ended with me drinking chicken soup. You can work out how they all connected up. Best story wins?

PS. This is an amusing site I saw today. Why? Just... because.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Woman indicted for molesting children because they 'smelled like vanilla'

Weirdest news headline of all time? I challenge you to beat it.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

SYTYCD Observation

I'm sorry. But these things are ruining So You Think You Can Dance:

  • That every single person after every single thing cries. "I put my whole heart into that." Cries. "I just felt so emotional during that, it was so intense." Cries. "You really touched me with that dance." Cries. Everyone, everything. I know that some stuff is emotional, but seriously. Everything. "Hey guys I just have to go to the toilet." Cries.

  • I hate the two guy judges. ESPECIALLY that one that wears trucker hats. Here's something he said, "In my life... I have been called an iceberg... because nothing moves me...You. Just. Moved. Me." I spat at the screen, then had to clean it up, then saw his face and spat at it again.

  • ... I'm such an angry person ha... Cries.

Monday, February 11, 2008

What Matt Really Meant #2

Firstly, Happy Chinese New Year! Here's to a disease-filled Year of the Rat. What a stupid animal to have a year after. Why not, say, a unicorn? Also, no I will not share my money packets with you. Back off ratface.

Now, onto business. Matt's second army blog is up, so... (cue awesome guitar solo/theme song) [sorry for being so slow]

"What Matt Really Meant":

Initiation week is over. It was like being in those frat initiations you see on tv. Walking on glass, getting paddled on the bum, playing dressups with the sargeant. You know the drill. Teehee, I'm so humorous. We get told a heck of a lot of information over short periods of time and are expected to use it straight away. This is done either in practical lessons or lectures - sound familiar to all you uni attendees? (PS. I couldn't resist... VVVVT VVVVT VVVVT) The big difference is that I'm at work 6am - 10pm, with very little time to sleep on the grass/couch. No, this isn't even a shot at Ben Chong and his awesome uni life. I am not jealous at all of his common room or lawn.

As a platoon we have been working hard on our marching and we are getting very close. Sometimes, if one person is really homesick or upset, we hold him till he sleeps. It's the right thing to do. PS WE HAVE JUST BEEN ISSUED OUR GUNS! WINWINWINWINWIN. We are starting to do more physical work, and I threw up on our first training session, all over Sarge. There were no dressups that night.

Things are going good here. When you're throwing up it feels like forever and is the worst thing in the world, but when you look back on it, it wasn't so bad. The worst part of the day is waking up at 6am and finding Bubba staring at me. I hate it but hopefully I will get more used to it.

All in all, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be, but now it's gotten more physical - in training and in the dorms - it's getting slightly tougher.

Hope all is going well for everyone else.

Peace and love from your gun-toting friend. Bang bang bang.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


I have officially been robbed of my wisdom. The teeth are all out and my face is fatter than a blowfish. Also, my cheeks and half of my tongue are numb. Finally, I have some bizarre strap thing over my head with ice packs at the cheeks. I could not look more attractive right now. Besides the fully-inflatable face, I am feeling better than a bear just out of hibernation, without the winter's worth of crap piled up behind me*. It actually feels like I've been sleeping for a few years. General anaesthetic is now in my top 20 favourite things, amongst Spongebob and glowsticks.

I can only eat yoghurt, ice cream, baby food and jelly; which isn't so bad. I can blend stuff if I really want to, but can I be bothered blending a steak? No. I'll stick to my baby food, thank you very much. Plus, you can keep popping the bit on the lid until it irritates everybody else in the house.

On another note, today is the start of Lent. For Lent, I'm giving up something, but I'm not telling anyone yet. I haven't decided if I will afterwards. I'm also taking up writing things that I am grateful for on a daily basis. The reasons is that I realised a few weeks ago that I am a pretty cynical, sarcastic, complaining person sometimes. I don't really have a right to be, because I have a pretty good life. This is clearly illustrated in yesterday's rant, when I couldn't even come up with three things to complain about. So from now on, I'll be blogging those things at this link, hopefully on a daily basis***.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when, hopefully, the next installment of "What Matt Really Meant" will be up.

* I had a thought once about hibernation. It was this: What happens with all the poo? Surely it's not held in all winter, and I refuse to believe it just piles up there. Do they sleep at the top of a slide, so that it all shoots down and out of their cave? Or... on a more extreme level... what if they sleep in a circle, so that they poo... into another bear's mouth, and then the cycle continues? I'm pretty sure that's what happens. I'm going to try and write that on Wikipedia**.

** Didn't bother. Pretty sure I'd fail.

*** Credit to Em for inspiring part of the idea of a daily blog list thingo.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


1) Why does my laptop screen choose not to work anymore, when I haven't touched it for a week? Is that why? Does it feel lonely because I haven't touched it? Well, work is just busting my arse at the moment, and you're meant to understand that. How do you expect me to come home to this? You know what? YOU'RE sleeping on the couch tonight. How's that for a change?

2) Why is Australia so good at making tv stuff suck? So You Think You Can Dance. I was so excited. The first episode was not very good, and the second better but still... not very good. It was a bigger letdown than discovering I couldn't have a pet Snuffleupagus for Christmas.

3) Why can I only think of two things to rant about? Damn life for being so good.

I love you, Snuffy. Call me?