I have officially been robbed of my wisdom. The teeth are all out and my face is fatter than a blowfish. Also, my cheeks and half of my tongue are numb. Finally, I have some bizarre strap thing over my head with ice packs at the cheeks. I could not look more attractive right now. Besides the fully-inflatable face, I am feeling better than a bear just out of hibernation, without the winter's worth of crap piled up behind me*. It actually feels like I've been sleeping for a few years. General anaesthetic is now in my top 20 favourite things, amongst Spongebob and glowsticks.
I can only eat yoghurt, ice cream, baby food and jelly; which isn't so bad. I can blend stuff if I really want to, but can I be bothered blending a steak? No. I'll stick to my baby food, thank you very much. Plus, you can keep popping the bit on the lid until it irritates everybody else in the house.
On another note, today is the start of Lent. For Lent, I'm giving up something, but I'm not telling anyone yet. I haven't decided if I will afterwards. I'm also taking up writing things that I am grateful for on a daily basis. The reasons is that I realised a few weeks ago that I am a pretty cynical, sarcastic, complaining person sometimes. I don't really have a right to be, because I have a pretty good life. This is clearly illustrated in yesterday's rant, when I couldn't even come up with three things to complain about. So from now on, I'll be blogging those things at this link, hopefully on a daily basis***.
Stay tuned for tomorrow when, hopefully, the next installment of "What Matt Really Meant" will be up.
* I had a thought once about hibernation. It was this: What happens with all the poo? Surely it's not held in all winter, and I refuse to believe it just piles up there. Do they sleep at the top of a slide, so that it all shoots down and out of their cave? Or... on a more extreme level... what if they sleep in a circle, so that they poo... into another bear's mouth, and then the cycle continues? I'm pretty sure that's what happens. I'm going to try and write that on Wikipedia**.
** Didn't bother. Pretty sure I'd fail.
*** Credit to Em for inspiring part of the idea of a daily blog list thingo.
11 years ago
For a moment I was really confused because I didn't know you were talking about wisdom teeth.
ReplyDeleteWait, so you know what you're giving up, yes?
Yay, I commented your new blog!
This is all very exciting.
Hope the teeth & stuff get better soon!
Unless of course you enjoy the pain/numbness/attention/etc..
Yes, I know what I'm giving up. I'm just keeping it to myself though.
ReplyDeleteI hate the pain/numbness/get no attention anyway. It's lame.
Yeah the pain sucks, but the fact that all you can do is sit around and eat ain't so bad.
ReplyDeleteplus what else would you be doing. i had mine out the week before i started year 12.
One of my wisdom teeth is starting to come through... I probably have to get them out one day.
ReplyDeleteWHY WOULD YOU GET THEM OUT A WEEK BEFORE YEAR TWELVE YOU CRAZY HUMAN BEING.
You're not that crazy, I just wanted to be extreme and type in caps. Been reading too many web comics.
WOW, YOUR SOOOO EXTREME, TYPING IN CAPS! ARGHHHH, NOW I'M DOING IT!
ReplyDeletei do like the fact that this now has nothing to do with Ben or his blog.
David: I can hardly eat anything. Lame.
ReplyDeleteEm: You should, it's better now than later I guess.
David: IT SO DOES! I'M MEGA EXTREME TOO! (Imagine me saying that like the guys on the carpet sales ads: yelling repeatedly at you)