Yes I have been slow with updates (I have some drafts almost finished, promise). BUT! This is a very important moment. Why? Because with a tiny sandwich, I have demonstrated the gradual development of my maturity. Here's how:
Old Me Sandwich
Bread: Two pieces of bread, straight from the loaf.
Meat: Microwaved soggy chicken schnitzel. Trade-off of less time for quality. Seemed worth it.
Vegetables: Are you serious?
Extras: Thought about extras, did not bother getting any.
Enjoyment: Meh, was better than eating biscuits for lunch.
Other: Did not wash dishes.
New Me Sandwich
Bread: (I searched for Turkish bread or focaccia first.) Two pieces of bread, lightly buttered and grilled. Note: I USED THE FREAKIN GRILL. Big steps for me.
Meat: Oven-cooked chicken schnitzel in the oven for twenty-five minutes. It was crunchy. Definitely worth the wait.
Vegetables: Fresh rocket lettuce.
Extras: Mayonnaise, salt and pepper.
Enjoyment: Thoroughly enjoyed.
Other: Did not wash dishes. Pfft, that's not an ingredient to a good sandwich.
Now I know that I'm no super chef and won't be having any success in a restaurant any time soon, but it's massive for me. So there. ALSO, on the subject of cooking, my new favourite show is "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares". The dude honestly says the F word more than somebody with Tourette's. I counted 28 between ad breaks once.
Yehhhh, that's a good BBQ unit...WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?
... you idiot, that's a sandwich, it has nothing to do with barbeques. Way to misuse a quote.
Don't bag me, or my inner monologue. Bizznatch.
congrats on the mad sandwich skills. I had toasted cheese yesterday and it was good.
ReplyDeleteI was going to give this blog a 6.5 but it get pushed up to 9 for the inclusion of Ramsay. I love the idea of him in your kitchen, swearing at you to cook properly and then creating a new simple menu so that you don't get overwelmed.
Did you notice how I embellished my words so that it seemed like I did something really extravagant... but was actually really simple? EG. Wanky things like "lightly buttered" + "Fresh rocket lettuce". It's these little things that bring me that one step closer to winning Gordon Ramsay's heart.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure Ramsay could create a more simple menu for me.
Ramsay: "What were you f*****' thinking? Rocket lettuce? How about we just go with this picture of lettuce I printd off? How about that? SIMPLE ENOUGH? Keep. It. F******. Simple. Stupid. Christ, this is what I have to work with."
Me: "Dude... what are you doing in my kitchen?"
Ramsay: "Are you F***ing kidding?! I'm trying to F***ing save your F***ing restaurant! Now lets talk about promoting your F***ing relaunch..."
ReplyDeleteChong: *confused look*
Ramsays minders:"Sorry about that sir." *grab Ramsay and excort out*
Chong:*laughing because they call him sir*
And did you put in a picture after i commented? that is a cheap trick to try and get a higher rating!
Well it worked! 9.3!
Congratulations on becoming more sandwichially cultured!
ReplyDeleteYou've entered a new height of being.
Now I am hungry... like the wolf.