Friday, June 19, 2009

There's a virtual skeleton in my closet

A recent conversation with someone about the Sims reminded me of some dark secrets from my past.

Is it sadistic that I hated Mortimer Goth? He was smug, he had more facial hair than me, he always wore a suit and my dude could only afford trackpants. He had his life together, he had a job, a wife, children. You know something's wrong when a virtual person is living better than you.

Look at him. What a jerk.

Today I remembered the last time I played the Sims. My little brother and I had fun hitting on Bella Goth and making friends with their children. Then, when he came and knocked on my Sim's door (which was pretty much everyday - Mortimer's probably the neediest friend you could have), I invited him into my fenced off backyard, built a wall around him and left him in there with only a plate of cookies and a pinball machine. Is that so wrong?

...Turns out yes, it was wrong. Eventually, he weed everywhere, threw many tantrums, kept passing out, and then died...all while I was practicing my cooking, and then throwing a party that Bella and the kids came to.

...I think I have problems. Ha.

Seriously though, what a fox.


  1. Favourite.

    Although I have to say that the kid annoyed me even more, with her Harry Potter glasses. Wannabe.

  2. Yeh, look, she wasn't that cool. But she wasn't a threat to me. Mortimer and his big dumb moustache and sharp suit and job at that firm made my blood boil.

    It had to be done.

  3. That' not so bad.
    I always ended up toturing the Goths. I think I ended up making Mortimer swim in the pool and then removed all the exits. So he drowned and died.
    I also ended up shutting him in a kitchen that's oven had burst into flames.
    Yes, a touch saddistic, but satisfying.

  4. Woah Blair! That's super sadistic.

    .. I love it. And am going to play the Sims now and try out your advanced torture techniques. No biggie.

    ... maybe listen to some Snoop Dogg covers of Queen.

  5. Delayed PS: Blair, why did you hate Mortimer so much? Did you also secretly want your Sim to be dating Bella Goth? Ha. Nah but seriously, she had different interests to my guy, they didn't like talking. It would have never worked. Plus, my job as a lab technician was never going to pay for the kid's schooling.

  6. My Sim had low self esteem issues and only felt better when she was picking on someone. I say picking on, I mean killing.


    I love the Sims.

  7. Also whenever you moved your Sim in somewhere, the Goths would always come over to welcome you to the neighborhood.
    And my male Sims would flirt with Bella (she's a babe) and make Mortimer mad. Hahahaha. Then they would fight. And eventually Bella would marry one of my Sims and have hot babies after I made them kiss ten times in a row.

  8. Everything on this post and comments still makes me laugh so much.