Motivation

Contrary to what you might think I'm writing about, this has nothing to do with exams or study.
I'm writing about inspiration, and how awesome it is when it gets you and you get all excited and energised about doing something, and then how irritating it is that that fades away. Ironically, this post was inspired by someone else: Kyla's blog.

I am a person who is quite, not very, but quite easy to inspire. I find it easy to grab hold of ideas and run with them. Therefore, I have had quite a few moments when I have been filled with energy to do things, specifically acts on social justice or faith involvement.

For a few days/weeks, I generally motor along at high speed, doing lots and being excited and having all these ideas and thoughts in my head. However, I always slow down and go back into cruise mode (although sometimes it is at a higher level of cruise than before), and this is what irritates me - I want to be excited ALL THE TIME!

This motivation, and then stalling of it, sometimes leaves me in a situation where I'm so far involved in something or, in my case, have started something, that I feel in too deep to back out of. I am often told this is never the case, that I cannot back out, but I also find it hard to let go of things when they are my ideas/work, etc. This is not to say I don't want to be part of it anymore, but it means I am part of it, and then get stressed I am not feeling as part of it. Possibly contributes to my burnouts.

I think that there is all this energy inside me already, but it sometimes needs something to come along and spark it, or reignite it, so it gets moving again. I wish I could just do it at will. Motivation can get you lots of places, even if you are lacking in talent or skill.

So now I sit, while in the middle of exams, organisation for the Zero Seven roadtrip, organisation for Africa Aid, running of Garage, Social Justice team at Church, numerous other projects... and wait for something to reignite me. Hopefully soon.