A Resume, A Retreat & A Realisation

So whilst I struggle with the photos of my dirty room/some camera difficulties, here's a little bit of news of things happening in my world.

Resume isn't really the right word, but it was the only way of somewhat keeping meaning whilst filling out the title. Whatever. Youth Vision last week approved my application to become a sponsored Youth Ministry intern at my church. That means I can get paid to do what I love doing, as well as take on some youth ministry study under ACOM, to help me better myself personally and in leadership mad-skillz. This is an answer to some of my prayers lately, as I've been seeking how to chase God and better my relationship with him and others, and get past the annoyingly necessary need for jobs and money to help me get by without leeching off my parents.

The first retreat for Vetamorphus was last weekend. It was a great time away, a very healthy space for real conversations. I told the girls that we have this year (CW, BC, and LD - all champs, also the most easily distracted people ever) that I loved the space we were in, where people could have real conversations with strangers and skip through all the crap that might normally occur when meeting someone. The focus of the weekend was on getting to know your Bible (and so getting to know God better). It was good stuff, as I and so many others constantly need reminding, encouragement and help in exploring the many messages in that old book.

From this retreat, came my realisation. I was interviewed as an ex-student, now leader, on the retreat. I was asked about where I was at coming into Vetamorphus, how it affected me, and where I'm at now. It was after reflecting on this that I had my massive realisation. A few years ago, I prayed one of those prayers you pray when everything's turned to poo. The sort of desperate, pleading, pathetic prayer, where I actually got on my knees, in the dark, and prayed for a long time. I asked for my life to change, for me to become a better person, for social justice to become something I cared about more than trying to impress people (or more like, for God to help me as I attempted to make caring about others part of my life). Lots of stuff. It was long, intense, and a time when I genuinely was relying on God. Four years on, I am working in ministry; I love making people and serving them my priority; I am passionate about social justice; I struggle constantly with my faith and God, but it makes my life more worthwhile. My prayers have been answered, and I'm in a massively good place at the moment. Just happier, less stressed. I still know that life has ups and downs, but I'm happy to sit and reflect and work through the downs until the good times happen again.

I'm in such a great space and I'm very grateful that I'm in it. God's been good to me and it makes me want to be good to others.