Licensed

There are some who say that many things would happen before the event of me getting my license. The return of Jesus, the reincarnation of dinosaurs, my grandchildren getting their licenses, the end of the world. But contrary to what they've said, I have now gotten my license. That's right. This is the story of personal triumph over abject adversity, negativity and obstacles...rather than the story of a lazy kid who got his L's way late, and then joined the frantic rush to get his P's before the new laws came in. That's probably one of the other 100,000 kids trying to get their licenses now. My story will one day be made into a feel-good movie starring Denzel Washington as me. It could happen.

So now I can drive, with the exception of not having a car. But the point is, that philosophically, legally, geographically, mathematically, linguistically, theoretically, illegally, etc. etc., I am now allowed to drive a car.

To think, just the morning of my exam, I started driving the car whilst forgetting to turn on the engine. So ace. See you on the roads!

Sugar-Coated With Awesome

These clothes are the coolest things I've ever seen. Granted, I'd probably get sick of them after a few weeks/days/minutes. BUT! For now, they are a way to vicariously live in another world: a world in which I had the ability, nay - the RIGHT - to eat cool, fun and colourful meals in the morning, afternoon, evening or whenever I damn well liked; a world in which every day was filled with such fun phrases as, "Follow your nose!" or "Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!";... a world in which my mum had not clamped a vice-like grip over our consumption of anything other than Weetbix.

So here's the deal. Straight up. You buy me anything from that collection, and I'll make your wildest dreams* come true.

Here are some of my favourites:

* Not exceeding $50 or my own safety.**

** Nudity may be acceptable. It's a case by case sort of deal.

Nursery Rhyme for the Politically Correct

Quite aware these are everywhere. This is the work of an MSN conversation between EP and myself - two aspiring teachers. Your children will, no doubt, be taking material like this home as their readers in a few years.

Baa baa, African American sheep, have you any wool?

Yes sir/madam, yes sir/madam, three materials bound to serve as containers* full.

One for the master, one for the dame, and one for the vertically challenged boy/girl who lives down the lane.

* Someone might mistake "bag" as being a derogatory term for a woman.

A weak blog, this is undeniable. I was just... filling in the space between the last blog and the next that I actually put some thought into.

Otherwise, I'm excited that the new Flight of the Conchords show is on soon. Here's some of their work:

Be more constructive with your feedback.

Prayer Note: Burma

Note: The last time I can remember a major natural disaster in Asia (that is, not the most recent), it prompted me to find out more about problems in the world and how I could help be a part of helping in any little way I could. That was a month before Africa Aid was born.

I don't write about every single problem wrong with the world and it's not that I don't care about them or have no compassion for them. Burma's cyclone has just really caught my attention and made me feel like the least I can do is pray for them. So, amongst all the other things that are wrong in this world, I pray that You'll help the people of Burma. Amen.

Blank Check

Just back from an interesting weekend at Phillip Island, on the Vetamorphus retreat. Still working out what I want to say about it or if I want to say anything. Some positives, some struggles; some rational, some not. I'm really just drawing blanks on anything to write down from that adventure.

In the meantime, this guy tried to forge a $360 billion check. Probably the smartest criminal in the word. If not, then it's this guy: